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Taking the Social Readjustment Rating Scale, a stress test where over 300 points indicates extreme stress with risk of illness, I received a score of 405. This doesn't even include Coronavirus stress, which has become a serious issue. I guess my anxiety makes sense. And this is an "easy" year for me! :)

I have the feeling that I'm finally working my way through many of my earlier goals. A bunch remaining. I don't necessarily expect to finish them all. Also, I do expect to develop more goals, in fact I already am doing so. Nonetheless, I at least feel free! :)

Feels funny to remain in Capesterre Belle-Eau, Guadeloupe! Also working out conveniently.

I like living in the tropics! Makes me feel somewhat lazier than I'd sometimes want, but it's pleasant. I also like the desert. Anything consistently warm. A touch of cool I occasionally like.

I'm considering this "time out" in Capesterre, Guadeloupe as a decent "free time". It keeps on offering surprising advantages. On the other hand, even with this attitude, I do often feel frustration, as I want to travel more, see other countries. I guess that fits with the notion of advantages & disadvantages.

People use crazy risky drugs, like huffing gas, drinking alcohol, or smoking cigarettes. Seems like we can achieve more desirable mental outcomes through work, relaxation, exercise, sunshine, socializing, contributing to each other, or the like.

I'm even nowadays finding new French & Caribbean & foreign products at the grocery store, after around a year in Guadeloupe. :)

I guess we have to flip-spin into whichever situations we find ourselves out of through! :)

Weowr!

I'm acclimatizing to my new life in Guadeloupe. Not Guatemala, nor Guadalajara. Anyways, small town, I've got beach, I've got mountain, I've got fruit, I've got company.

Still, wanting to leave!

Just made some taro, with fish (cod), vegetables, rice, and herbs. Came out delicious!

The cleaning lady who lives opposite me taught me to make (true) yam, yesterday. Same basic process, which I already roughly knew, but she taught me some tricks. Seems these roots can be somewhat toxic if not fully prepared, as I learned from reading.

The cleaning lady has become quite active, yesterday she came by wanting to prepare for me a can of beans! I think she's looking for extra work.

Anyways, more tropical roots!

Cat o' nine tails, nine ways to skin a cat, a cat has nine lives. What's up with cats and the number nine?

Is it to one-up the "ca(t)nine"?

If a product markets itself as containing 48% ingredients from sustainable agriculture, isn't that admitting that it uses 52% ingredients from unsustainable agriculture? :)

The taro eats like a soft porridge, melts in your mouth. Mild, pleasant flavor. Goes well with other foods.

Idea: a movie about cleaning lady school. :)

I'm still missing the iguana! :)

Keep On!

New advertisement featuring this video that I made for Eagle Eyes Adventure Goggles:

Ad at Linkedin.

Looks like cruddy travel weather anyways. I'm probably better off staying. Things often seem to work out for the better even when they go against my plans.

Dealing with financial institutions has consistently ranked among my least favorite aspects of travel. Any other industry works fairly normally, but with banks it often becomes an immense frustration that affects other plans. I understand that this industry has different security/regulation issues, but it annoys me.

A sizable number of homicides are committed (at least evaluating by convictions) by schizophrenics, often "first-time" schizophrenics.

Substance abuse also accounts for many homicides. So it seems that people often kill due to serious psychosis from drugs or other causes.

Schizophrenics with low cholesterol apparently also commit more violent acts. Quick give them some butter!

Studies have shown that there is significant neuronal recruitment to this region of the avian brain during migratory flight, with the objective of enhancing cognitive potency in the nidopallium.

From <https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nidopallium>

How'd they figure that one out?!

Psychopaths (or sociopaths) tend to have less intelligence than average people.

Psychopathology (mental problems) usually seem to describe somewhat reasonable responses to events, e.g. injured people becoming antisocial or depressed or violent. Also, psychopathology represents a useful classification. I think that as with other complex topics, there are multiple practical ways of seeing things.

 

Nomadic antisocial (including schizoid and avoidant features)     Drifters; roamers, vagrants; adventurer, itinerant vagabonds, tramps, wanderers; they typically adapt easily in difficult situations, shrewd and impulsive. Mood centers in doom and invincibility.

From <https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Antisocial_personality_disorder#Physiological>

Wait, is that a diagnosis, or a compliment? :)

Same goes for:

Risk-taking antisocial (including histrionic features)     Dauntless, venturesome, intrepid, bold, audacious, daring; reckless, foolhardy, heedless; unfazed by hazard; pursues perilous ventures.

From <https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Antisocial_personality_disorder#Physiological>

Using caffeine is like using a safer cocaine or amphetamines, which may even be healthy.

Opening a bank account while traveling, or even maintaining one, is proving to be among the more annoying difficulties.

Ferries not going to Dominica anyways, borders still closed.

Stuck here! :)

It's easy to get hung up on the frustrations from specific events, but there'd be some frustrations (some the same, some different) regardless of specific events.

I guess better not to worry excessively.

I guess I'm considering this stuck-in-Guadeloupe period as a useful opportunity to work on more of my outstanding things.

Apparently the world works on Caribbean time. :)

When in the French Caribbean, you have to ask yourself often if it's going to be more French or more Caribbean. E.g.: Will the government services be more French or more Caribbean? Will the food be more French or more Caribbean?

Things seem to be developing somewhat, but slowly. Now planning around staying in Guadeloupe roughly as long as the Coronavirus runs, however long that turns out.

It's a gorgeous town, in terms of the scenery, the mountains, the beach, the plants, the animals, the houses.

Also, it's quite convenient. Large enough of a town to have the amenities, plus enough interesting sites.

Funny how your perspective or perception can adjust to such an extent, having as much effect on you as the underlying facts can.

Working more on the bank situation, not that fun. At least I have what seems like a workable provisional solution for while I'm in Guadeloupe.

At least with these somewhat annoying tasks like dealing with banks, phone companies, and such, I can practice my French! :)

Rock et Roll! :)

With the Coronavirus, I keep finding myself deferring my to-dos, adding more levels of emphasis in my lists. :)

I want to develop the Wri.D. degree. In addition to writing coursework, it involves copious experiences with drugs, sex, travel, and other experiences about which to write. :)

Civilization: Part III.

Our movie. After the classics (Greece, Rome, etc.), then the difficult middle years, modernity.

Dreaming, exercising, reminiscing. These can produce hallucinations, stimulation, relaxation, and the other advantages for which people purchase drugs. These can also enhance your health! (They cost less than drugs, too.)

Now they're telling me the package hasn't arrived yet on this island, when they told me last week that it had and that I could pick it up! I've also spent like fifty bucks on phone service to call them and wait on hold. Frustrating.

It's been well over four months.

They called back. Finally! It's supposed to be delivered tomorrow. Now I'm not sure if I'm ready yet. :)

Not a serious deal. At least this way I can leave the country soon if I want. I was beginning to become worried about getting stuck here even after my bank card expires.

I applied at a bunch of local banks, but got turned out. Maybe because of a limited passport visa? Or because of only having rental receipts for proof of address?

I also just bought an "account-less card" today, but the recharge function failed, due to my bank card having some security alert set up with a phone number that I no longer have.

I'm feeling a confusing rush of emotions. Which I was feeling anyways. Which I usually feel anyways. But now a bit more so.

If they actually come through tomorrow, then I'm thinking of maybe leaving next weeekend. (Not this upcoming one, but the one thereafter.)

Not entirely sure that I feel or think I'm ready to leave yet. Part of me feels way over-ready, but part of me is concerned about the Coronavirus, about the weather, about the sudden turmoil after my first stable place in a while.

I think it's important to keep going. For practical as well as emotional reasons.

We'll see!!!!!!!!!!!! :)

I don't think they'd be delivering the package even now without a more aggressive call. I've e-mailed and called for months, they've said multiple times that the package was in this country, was being delivered, then backtracked. I think sometimes you need to use some force if you want to make things happen.

I have a bunch of groceries, I've kept going back for more after what I thought was my last shopping trip here.

My French is finally starting to become somewhat usable, but still rough. I hadn't spoken much French for years. A tiny bit in Louisiana. A bunch in Quebec.

Some of the things that I'm going to miss about the French Caribbean (I actually plan to go to a different French island again soon):

• The French cheese!!!!!
• The French language!
• The Caribbean!

Some things seem to adjust more easily than others when you travel. I still seem to be stuck on thinking in Celsius (even when in the US), scheduling things in the mid-afternoon instead of somewhat later (even after spending a while in countries that have a long mid-day break).

I think I'm maybe going to leave the 17 or more likely 24 of April. Maybe May 1?

I've pushed back my start dates for leaving a place by a month at a time?

I'm feeling some frustration over having potentially less time in Dominica, Martinique, Saint Lucia than I had wanted. Also quite tolerant, given Coronavirus, accomplishing numerous goals, poor travel weather, other work to do.

I've been feeling stuck, going around in circles. Also dying to leave. Also comfortable, not wanting to leave.

Now I feel the opposite, a sudden rush of activity, also worry over leaving the comforts.

Starting a travel trip, like starting a drug trip. :)

I feel in many respects much better now than when I arrived in Guadeloupe. Much better shape financially, also have accomplished tons of my goals, also had a chance to rest, recuperate.

Also feeling somewhat older, slower, but in part that's due to the cloudy weather, and the lethargy of staying still for so many months. Also, long day.

I've gotten to know when the landscaping team arrives before the sun comes up, when the large insect flies over the street around sunrise. When it becomes loud, when it becomes quiet. I think I've become a local. :)

In a way it feels like a weight off my shoulders, to have the package (supposedly) coming tomorrow. In a way it feels like a burden, to have to figure out my leaving. One weight falls, another weight rises. :)

I often feel like life's too hard. Or just hard enough to make it, if you're lucky.

I feel like my emotions are my strength & weakness.

I feel like a different person than when I came to Guadeloupe, or to Capesterre.

Maybe more mature, not that that's necessarily a good thing. :)

I feel so extremely constrained, staying in one small town. Much different than traveling to different countries. I guess that when staying in one place is what you know, or if you have a different personality, it seems normal.

I think I've done stuff a million times more scary & crazy than even some out-there people! :)

I think that in the cloud/rainy weather, my body reacts by congesting, which constrains air flow, which makes my brain go into a strange mode.

My mood seems much better even while the weather's staying iffy. I think it's the package.

I'm thinking of leaving Capesterre not this upcoming weekend but the next, if the borders seem open enough.

After so many delays, now seems so sudden!

My last remaining functional bank card expires end of May. I may need to go to North America to get another card.

I now feel like I'm switching from residing in Capesterre to actively working on my next travels again. Scary yet exciting!

I've had my notes scattered all over the place while managing the last few weeks. Now it feels like things may be taking shape. Not sure I'm ready!

My present policy is not to use much in the way of substances, except situationally, e.g. a coffee if I'm feeling unusually tired and need to work -- instead of a regular or even semi-regular coffee (or other substance). I've often used more routinely, but I seem to do better on average without, I think?

So, rain this week, plus figuring out the border situation, running through my remaining food, doing other preparations. Then, a shot at leaving Capesterre next week if the situation seems desirable, or maybe the week thereafter.

Borders still look basically shut down. Not sure yet if the international ferries are running yet again, the websites make it look like not, I sent out more e-mails, we will see. Even Dominica, where I want to go next, which officially has open borders, requires for visitors from "high risk countries" (which apparently include mine) to stay in quarantine. Looks like I'm staying in Guadeloupe a while longer.

Not that big of a deal, I still don't actually feel emotionally or in some sense logistically ready to go yet. Also somewhat annoying, due to the bank card issue (expiring soon), the times when I do feel emotionally like leaving, and the frustration of lacking the freedom to go where I want.

Interesting, seems like Dominica is receiving Coronavirus assistance from India and China. I guess it may be a poorer society than I'd thought.

I'm not planning to go until they have more normal borders.

There's a $90-150 per night fee for staying in their quarantine!

Disaster aversion. Do not go to Dominica until they actually reopen their country.

Now preparing for extended stay in Guadeloupe.

They also have "scheduled and unscheduled checks" for Coronavirus in visitors to Dominica.

The only open things there anyways would be a "managed experience" or a government operated quarantine facility. No thanks.

Guess I'm stuck in Guadeloupe until further notice.

Travel within a "travel bubble", sounds like fun. Not.

Seems like the travel industry is out.

Who knows how I'd get into the next country, even if I did go.

Thankful to have this location in Guadeloupe!

"Travelers must practice good respiratory etiquette." :)

I came to Guadeloupe for a few weeks, now I'm watching a generation of Guadeloupians develop. :)

At least there's a certain sense of relief. I didn't want to rush out of Guadeloupe, or into an iffy situation in Dominica with the risk of quarantine. Now that I see that there isn't even a practical method of going to Dominica, or doing the activities there that I want, I feel like it's unambiguous. As much as choice can be useful and desirable, sometimes it's nice to have some simplicity.

"Hair braider temperature should be taken on entry to the Port restricted area." :)

I guess I'm stuck in Guadeloupe until further notice.

My new plan is to work on the bank card.

Let's stay! :)

After writing about psychology for a while, I've finally figured out how psychiatry works. It's based off of the notion of artificial intelligence. This may seem weird, but bear with me.

What is the ideal person? The ideal person, in the mind of psychiatry, works, but does not have emotions. Feeling good or bad? Mood disorder. Worrying about things? Anxiety disorder. Having a drink? Substance use disorder. Having non-reproductive sex? Sex disorder.

There are still a few issues in this theory to work out, but I think I'm onto something. :)

Funny that the hang out spot here, the dance spot, is the convenience store next to the tanks of cooking butane.

I guess I've had numerous idealist/absolutist ideas. Maybe part of aging is seeing more nuances?

I'm working to become more tolerant of other people. To become more tolerant of frustrations, stresses, annoyances. While also retaining enough frustration, stress, annoyance to keep doing interesting things. :)

Last full week of March. Will the package arrive? Does it matter?

(The package didn't arrive in March. It didn't matter.)

My assumptions often seem to turn out wrong, but I've written that before.

The Caribbean's a decent place to get stuck during a pandemic. You don't feel like going anywhere anyways. :)

(I think I've written that before, too. I guess getting stuck physiologically makes you stuck psychologically too.)

A lesson for me from reading and experience may be that thinking is overrated?

Do we humans, some of us anyways, over-analyze things?

Cloudy weather makes me feel sad, tired, feminine, weak, nostalgic.

I often feel confusion.

I guess it's supposed to be grueling.

I guess you can't reason through things entirely. At some stages you have to take your risks.

I'm not sure where I'm going with this. I guess just tired.

I don't think it's entirely a coincidence that "blog" sounds like "blah". :)

I guess my introvert streak must look somewhat funny to more average or extroverted people.

I may have a tendency to take things overly serious :)

We are the descendants of those daring enough to survive.

I feel like I've faced enough frustrations recently that I'm finding myself thankful that my frustrations at least seem to be occurring conveniently together. :)

We all have frustrations. They often work out for the better.

Instead of taking frustrations too personally, finding productive behaviors.

I don't think there's some one solution, I think instead it makes sense to have some balance.

The water remained available for a few days, then went out again today. For some reason I found it oddly comforting for the water to go out. Like it's "back on (or off) schedule". :)

Even a week or so later, I find myself watching for the iguana when I walk into a different part of the apartment. :)

(Even a couple of weeks later, I'm watching for the iguana.)

We have to adjust to situations as they occur!

Over four months after ordering this package (through a courier, not through the postal system), plus e-mailing them nearly every week with only occasional responses, they had sent the package to the wrong country, now finally e-mailed to say it's in the right country. Oh, and I can pick it up. I thought they were supposed to deliver! :)

I'm trying to call them, left a message on one number, the other number goes a voice mail box that's full!

(Later, got through to them. They said they'd try to deliver it, as if it's some extra favor they're performing for me to deliver the package that was sent through them to me. It hasn't arrived yet.)

A philosophy: "Things are gonna be pretty fucked up anyways so you may as well get on with it." :)

After the Coronavirus is over, we should have a huge party! :)

Having stayed largely in North America when I was younger, I took its culture for granted. I don't think it makes sense to stay put for long, though. The planet has too many interesting cultures, geographies!

I want to travel more, again. I think that tons of people in practically any country take their own culture and geography for granted. Maybe we should prod ourselves or each other to travel more?

I think I've often had a "false" attitude of things are just right and I have to do things exactly right. But maybe it makes more sense more often to have an attitude of Do the best you can now, then you can adjust more later.

Sometimes during travel, or "travel" as I've taken to calling it, you have things go extremely not according to plan. I guess that applies anyways.

After a while in one place, I have mixed feelings. Starting to become too comfortable in the sense of feeling like staying. Also desperately wanting to leave.

There's a song I keep hearing here, which I like. Some of the music here annoys me. I haven't made out the lyrics to the song I like. I recently noticed that it may be in Spanish, instead of French. That may explain it! (The French Caribbean songs are hit-or-miss with me, but I like many of the Spanish Caribbean songs I've heard.)

After a couple of weeks of rain, not doing much other than working, even going outside seemed like a bold risk. :)

The Coronavirus keeps on becoming larger than I expected. The package keeps on delaying. At least the timing works out.

Things occur far differently than our naïve intuitions. Even if we realize how naïve our intuitions are, this does not stop things from occurring far differently. It's like driving past stop signs that are covered in plants or other objects. Even if you know that plants cover stop signs, even if you know that a specific stop sign is not covered by plants, you may not see a stop sign and go right by it. Likewise, even knowing intellectually that plans fail does not stop plans from failing.

The rain seems to be clearing up, at least for a short while. I feel instantly somewhat better. Clearer voice, better mood, stronger body.

When a cloud passes in front of the sun, I instantly start to feel negative, congested, nostalgic, and more. I'm not sure if that has to do with the pineal gland regulating other parts of the body, some shift in air pressure or other measure, some semantic processing (subconscious?), or what. I think it occurs even if I don't directly see or feel the sun or air, but maybe through indirect information like reflections of light or processed air.

The data indicate that people (in the broad sense, encompassing also animals other than humans, and things) have quite a range of events, only somewhat stable, with cycles. We should expect something like that. Our stories, for ourselves or for each other, often reflect that after the fact, but I think that we often tell ourselves falsely smooth, stable stories beforehand. In part because they're simpler, in part because they're more desirable, the "easy" stories seem more practical. I think it makes sense to use them, but also to recall that they are only idealized stories.

You have to just adapt.

Things generally happen when you go out and make them.

There are costs, risks. But it often seems to make sense in a larger sense even when it doesn't make immediate sense.

So keep on going! :)

Already (only a few minutes after the iguana left), I find it funny to watch my step as I look for an iguana.

(While editing this considerably after writing the above, I still miss the iguana, and still watch my step unintentionally.)

"That's not what I've read about critical thinking!" :)

I've lost track of how often I've been wrong. Often for the better! :)

Idea: potato slathered in melted chocolate.

Some of the recurrent themes I've noticed in my blogging:

• Adapt!
• Don't overly worry or fear
• Things don't go according to plan (see "Adapt!")

I think it would feel weird to lose your language, e.g. through a brain injury or if you were a non-human animal.

I think you'd focus much more on your immediate environment.

I think much of the artificial environment wouldn't even make sense.

Words are an escape of sorts.

I think I've been wanting escapes lately. I think we all want escapes. Is it the main theme of life?

Even now, after the iguana has left, whenever I see green it feels like the iguana's there.

Iguana color is lettuce?

After sleeping, woke up, still half-expecting to see the iguana.

It's somewhat sad not to have the iguana around, but also somewhat of a relief.

I keep checking for the iguana when I open a door, walk into a different area of the apartment, or move around, even though it's been gone for a day.

Stable systems develop over time, undergo numerous tests that rock them, then eventually dissipate.

A couple of days after the iguana has left, I still finding myself looking for it.

I think that a lot of people (including at some times myself) have a notion that if they do well enough at some task, say making money or having relationships or studying in school, then this will resolve their issues. I think that actually any of those leaves issues or presents new issues. They can be valuable activities, but I think it's somewhat illusory how we often see the expected outcomes.

No matter who you are, things don't go according to plan.

I feel like I'm going through the same challenges as before, by and large. Packages not arriving, weather cloudy, emotions often down, work struggles, things not going as planned. Also some more upbeat stuff, not that it's all negative but just that the negative parts seem the same as before. I can understand and tolerate that, and I'm thankful to have such a modest worry. Also super upbeat about the future!

Potatoes covered in melted chocolate: a delicious combination! Even better with butter!

Seems like the Coronavirus is likely to affect things for a while. I predict more frustrations.

I often feel conflicted. I think that's actually a somewhat reasonable feeling, given the conflicts that so often occur in our environment.

When you feel conflict, it can make sense to go ahead and do SOME action.

We make mistakes. Not as big of a deal as it seems.

The weather seems to have an extremely fast, powerful effect on my emotions. Not sure how representative I am of people in that regard. I often feel like the weather affects what I can or can't realistically do during the day.

They were practically giving away the cheese, so I've eaten like fifteen pounds of French cheese over the last few days. Not feeling tired of it. :)

Sun's back out!

I feel like a different person!

Rock & Roll!!!!!!!!!!!! :)

The iguana often seems to cover itself in some "shelter", with its head or tail sticking out.

I guess that in mid-life you get to work to support society, unlike when you're younger or older when you work to receive society's support.

I think the iguana may have a smell, but there are enough other aromas in the area that it's hare to discern if that's the case.

What we do now shapes the future!

The iguana remains where I'd last seen it last night, under a calendar with only its head sticking out. I think it found a new sleeping place, which is much more visible than behind the fridge (where it had slept before).

Having an iguana is sort of like having a cat. It explores the place, looking attractive. It occasionally interacts with you, usually with some trepidation.

It's fun to watch the iguana move about the place. It uses different strides than other animals that we commonly interact with. Somewhat alien.

I think the iguana woke up around 5 AM. I feel like I'm becoming a scientist or a parent, observing the iguana. :)

The iguana now looks contemplative, or sad. It seems to have varying moods throughout the day.

Maybe the iguana's just resting? Do they stay as still on their own, as they do inside?

Now Juana Iguana has turned around.

After sitting around much of the morning, the iguana seems to have moved off the shelf, while I went to the bathroom. Not sure where it went, I think under the fridge? The lettuce seems maybe somewhat more eaten, but maybe just more wilted, hard to see.

I heard a sudden noise. The iguana is now on the kitchen counter. Its tail is showing. Not sure if it jumped up, or jumped over, or jumped down, or climbed up, or what.

Maybe it's eating food off the counter?

Like a cat!

Another sudden noise. I think the iguana jumped down to the floor. An acrobat!

I feel like such a "pet owner" now. The iguana seems to be rummaging around the kitchen. Every once in a while making a loud sound. I just went to see if it was up to trouble, and it scurried around.

I see what looks like torn-up or partially digested green plant matter. Has the iguana been tracking it through the apartment?

So far I haven't seen much in the way of weird iguana detritus. Do they leave around scales or other things?

Just as I was thinking and writing about the iguana, I turned around and was surprised by it!

It's somewhat addictive writing about the iguana. Maybe because it's such a different experience.

The iguana often seems to watch me, like it's observing me, too.

Interest gradient (n.): when an experience differs enough from what you know that you can derive some interest out of it.

The iguana may have eaten some of the onion after all.

Package still not here. Slow responses from the delivery company.

Suddenly I found myself thinking, "can I leave so easily with the iguana staying?"

I think I can get over it.

I still haven't actually seen the iguana eating. It's been a number of days, and it seems in fine condition, so I'm somewhat confident that it's at least finding things to eat.

Iguanas don't vocalize much. I guess there's no sense in doing so in such a non-social animal.

I've occasionally seen this iguana stick its tongue out. I think to detect chemicals in the air.

Dealing with an iguana is sort of like dealing with an extremely autistic five year old.

I think the iguana sees basically anything as branches.

Iguanas are at least easy to take photos of, given how much they stay motionless!

To "see" the iguana way: do nothing.

I left the door open, with me far from it. The iguana is now closer to the open door without me being near it than has occurred so far. Also it's feeling more comfortable moving about. Will it leave? I'm guessing not, but not that sure.

So far it hasn't left. It's on the kitchen counter.

The iguana jumped down to the ground! It's now standing just outside the door!

I'd feel somewhat down if the iguana goes, but I think it's (probably) better for the iguana to go off than to remain inside.

I feel sort of like the iguana must have felt, as I've thought to myself since it arrived. Somewhat stuck, confused, yet also somewhat comfortable.

The iguana's standing there, in the sun, not running off or running back.

The iguana imposes "obligations" on me, not real obligations but pressures. When it's sleeping or standing somewhere, I aim to avoid those locations so as not to disturb it. Now that it's just outside the door, I don't want to close the door on it.

I feel like the slow deliveries have also been "obligating" me to stay. In either case it's not a serious obligation, but it still can feel like it.

The iguana walked a few feet away!

It's still standing there, on the balcony.

Maybe it's having a sit and a think. :)

And it's gone!

No more iguana!

I feel relieved, that it's gone. Also somewhat down.

Next!

I studied psychology. It turns out everyone's crazy.

The iguana looks somewhat like a snake, a turtle, a frog, or other animals. I hadn't noticed the resemblance as much until having an iguana as a pet.

I'm thinking of naming the iguana "Iguana", or "Mama Juana".

I think the iguana is giving me stress relief. At least comic relief. I often think of the absurdity of the situation.

An iguana makes for a convenient pet. They don't constantly run around, make noises, make messes, or do the other annoyances of some other animals. On the other hand, they don't seem to have much personality. Nor are they that appealing to play with.

There's tons of work involved in satisfying human needs!

Seeing yourself from a more scientific or objective perspective, you can see some of your own faults. Seems to indicate that we can enhance our results by working harder, giving more.

I think that the weather at different times of day makes for the typical moods for those times of day.

I predict that in the future, I'm likely to feel comparable frustrations to what I often feel, but with different specific stressors. Seems like even when you make progress, it results in an approximate return to normal.

Instead of expecting some total satisfaction, we can work for partial satisfaction, then take satisfaction with that.

Iguana's still here. Left a mess all over the bathroom. Including its food waste (from whatever it's eating), plus knocking things over.

Cleaner supposed to come, still hasn't arrived. Laundry machine still hasn't arrived. Repairs still haven't happened.

I guess we're on Caribbean time.

I took a nap, and when I woke up, heard some sounds in the bathroom. As I suspected, the iguana's there now. Not sure what it's doing. Drinking water? Finding insects? (Do iguanas eat insects?) Trying to get out by the window?

Kind of funny that the iguana went to the bathroom in the bathroom. :)

The iguana seems to have an aversive/fearful style, somewhat understandably given its genetics and situation.

Monday: "Is it the weekend yet?" :)

Often the things that I worry about turn out not to matter so much.

Prevenge (n.): Enacting justice before one has been harmed.

As the iguana has expanded its range, I now look around before walking to different areas of the apartment, to avoid stepping on or near it.

An iguana doesn't make for much of a pet, behavior-wise. But they're attractive to look at. Juana Iguana has been posing on the bike, then in the bathroom.

Delay continues. Package hasn't arrived yet, slow responses from the delivery business. Rainy anyways, so I'm not sure that I'd want to go quite yet.

With the iguana in the kitchen area, I was worried about eating. Now with the iguana in the bathroom, I'm worried about going to the bathroom. Two vital functions!

Another episode of things not going according to plan. I had thought (already far off from my earlier planning) that by now I'd be riding through other countries. Instead I'm staying in an apartment in this country, with an iguana! I guess we have to adapt, deal with what actually occurs.

The iguana sits motionless for a while (hours). If I approach too close, it (not sure of sex, how do you sex an iguana?) scurries off into a corner, often with its head or tail sticking out somewhat.

Maybe!

Maybe I haven't been making enough time for fun activities lately? I've often made too much time for fun activities. :) Recently I've run out of some fun things to do here, become more worried about some issues, and focused more on work. Also, feeling somewhat stuck. Maybe have more fun?

Intelligence, maybe social intelligence more than some other types, has evolved considerably from iguanas to mammals!

The water came back on (it remains on-and-off while the town redoes its piping), which shocked the iguana in the bathroom. It's now cowering behind the toilet.

Iguanas look somewhat fierce, but I think they're actually more like small grazers.

The iguana seems to be giving up. I've put more food near it, but the iguana barely seems to move.

Iguanas seem somewhat developed for reptiles.

Still, reptiles.

Apparently people in Mexico and the US eat iguana meat. Not sure that I know (or want to know) how to clean an iguana.

Some animals have mirrors in their eyes instead of lenses. If you look into their eyes, you see what they see. What would happen if two of these animals look into each other's eyes? They must have some intense flirtations or staring contests!

As a human, maybe our eyes SHOULD have correction? Maybe it's more "normal" to wear glasses or contacts, or have surgery?

I'm working to see things more "as they are" (more realistically, for what that's worth) in a useful, reliable manner, rather than to react out of anxious emotions.

I thought that the iguana was dying last night. It's been several days since it's been here, and I haven't seen it eating. Also, it was moving lethargically, even for an iguana. It didn't react nearly as much when I approached as it had before.

When I woke up, though, the iguana scurried through the room. It's still somewhat avoiding me, but I think less apprehensively than before. Now it's walking about slowly, which it hadn't done much before (only scurrying or staying motionless).

I read up a bit on iguanas. Seems that they're vegetarians, kept as pets in some places, seen as pests in other places. This iguana's growing on me some more. At the least it's an interesting experiment. Maybe some stress relief.

I think the iguana may have finally eaten some of the lettuce I left out!

I think the onion remains untouched.

I put out some more lettuce.

Maybe it's finally hungry?

I guess it's an experiment on me, too. I notice myself developing an emotional attachment to the iguana. :)

An iguana is about the size of a cat. But much more timid. An iguana looks sharper than a cat, which looks fuzzy, but cats act savagely, while iguanas act timidly.

The iguana has become more outgoing again. I heard it scurrying around while I napped, and I think I could even see it up on a table. Now it's standing still again.

Iguanas can remain motionless much better than humans, or for that matter many other animals, even other four-legged animals that have the addition of stability. Iguanas are low to the ground, with large, spread-out feet. I think they have different internal systems, too.

I only see four toes on each foot, with maybe a fifth as an opposing digit that I can't see?

"My" iguana's body is about a foot without counting the tail, plus about three feet of tail.

I think it's looking better than before.

It moves either in startlingly rapid bursts, or quite slowly. I think that its feet are adapted for much different ground than the tile floor, which it seems to have trouble gripping.

I don't see any indication that the iguana has gone through my groceries, which are out.

One of the pieces of lettuce looks maybe touched, the other not.

In a sense I feel like the iguana is more of a roommate than a pet. :)

A sudden noise. A can falling over (WD-40). The iguana on a backpack. It's becoming more of a normal pet. :)

Iguanas are better at climbing than I had thought before. Also better at running that I had thought before.

It must be funny to watch rats (or other test animals) in optogenetic experiments. You press a button (or however you control it), and the animal starts eating, or stops eating, or whatever. Like having a robot-mouse.

I don't think iguanas have much of a sense of humor. :)

From a different angle, I can more easily see five toes, on a back foot. They have a funny distribution of sizes, compared to human digits.

The iguana is now standing on a different backpack. I'm not sure if it just wants my company now? It seems more comfortable, anyways.

Iguanas aren't that social as animals. They don't look after their own young.

I feel like we're learning about each other, the Iguana and I. I'm learning to see it as an individual. :)

Do iguanas clean themselves? "Mine" seems to stand still, not doing much. Maybe they don't need to? I guess much of cleaning involves removing parasites from fur/hair? Do they just shed their skin instead?

I like having a pet iguana. It's like having a pet dinosaur or something.

Now the iguana has climbed up onto the stove!

Maybe it's walking over to the kitchen counter where I left some food out?

Thud! Iguana on ground. Did it jump down? Fall? I think it jumped.

It's entertainment, company, science. I can see why people like iguanas as pets!

If the iguana's leaping about, then I think it's finding some food source.

I think that the iguana's feet are adapted for climbing, walking, and running on rough surfaces (e.g. dirt, bark). It seems like the iguana lacks grip/traction on tile, metal, or other smooth surfaces.

I think the iguana's now fairly used to me, but remains somewhat wary of sudden movements. I accidentally approached closer than I usually do, and while the iguana flinched, it didn't back off.

The iguana seems to have some favorite areas. It likes the rear wheel of my bike. Also, short spaces that it just fits under, like under the fridge. Now it's on my bed, where I haven't seen it before, but I've seen it beneath the bed.

I feel like the iguana's learning its way around the apartment!

I'm no longer as worried about it biting me, dying, or doing other nasty things.

It's somewhat agile, somewhat clumsy.

French cheese is like a warm, delicious ice cream sandwich! :)

More iguana adventures to come!!!!! :)

 

It must be weird, being normal. :)

Things turn out much differently than you'd expect.

Bacteria and virii are doing quite an impressive job of standing up to modern humans!

I now think that I've seen as much as I can of this region of Guadeloupe!

I'm planning to see a bunch of another island in this country, before moving to the next country.

Things -- you, me, the environment -- consistently "invade" parts of each other.

Instead of finding it excessively frustrating, maybe we should adapt as we can?

I think that we have more control over our outcomes than often seems the case.

I'm not arguing that people can override the environment just by thinking, but that having an attitude that "we can do it" enables people to do things that may not seem feasible without that attitude.

The hard stuff looks easy.

Give what you can! :)

Another week in Capesterre, basically waiting on the package before going!

I think that life's more "on the edge" than we think. I.e., I think that we humans have a tendency to take things for granted, to think of things as "normal" because that's how they seem, when in fact our notion of "normal" is an abnormal illusion that can easily disappear.

So, act fast?

If only you could eat a thousand kilograms of chocolate then have all of your problems fixed. :)

Maybe senators should have to fight again, if they start wars, as in Rome or other societies.

I guess if you're tied to a single place, there's not enough to do other than work full time. :)

(Or drink.)

Kind of pushing it, as far as time available to take care of some time-sensitive tasks.

I'm waiting for a package that should have arrived months before now.

At least there are other things to do.

A large iguana came into the apartment in the evening. When I went towards the door where it had entered, I heard a sudden noise that startled me, as the iguana rushed into the kitchen area, near the fridge. It stayed there for a while, standing nearly motionless. I went to bed thirsty. When I woke up, I went with a backpack to block off any injury, and a flashlight, afraid of the large iguana that may have stayed next to the refrigerator. It had gone.

More uncertainty. The package hasn't arrived yet, and I haven't heard back from my e-mails to the delivery business lately. I'm no longer as anxious to leave in some senses, but remain anxious to leave in other senses, including having some time pressures from tasks that I have to attend to that I don't think I can do from this country.

I guess it's often necessary to deal with uncertainty, frustrations. I think it makes sense at least to take a productive approach, do what you can on the sources of uncertainty or frustrations, as well as on other tasks that aren't blocked, while also maintaining a positive attitude.

For millions of years, humans as well as other species have faced uncertainty, frustrations, losses, failures. It doesn't make sense for that not to apply now (regardless of any developments in technology), so I guess we should expect such frustrating events and consider them normal instead of unusual.

After trying a bunch of methods and products to sleep (I often sleep well but recently have had trouble falling or staying asleep, maybe due to stresses), I think that antihistamines (as in some sleep pills or anti-allergy pills) may work somewhat decently, alcohol may work somewhat decently (with numerous other effects), melatonin doesn't seem to do much, many herbal products don't seem to do much, paradoxical intent (forcing yourself to stay up until you fall asleep) may assist somewhat but has limits, distracting yourself with productive tasks can increase mood while accomplishing useful things if you can do them, other techniques don't seem to do much.

Iguana's back! Or didn't leave. I think it may have hidden. Not sure how it got in.

I'm somewhat scared to go for a drink even though I'm thirsty, with the large iguana next to the refrigerator. I'd like it to leave. I'm also worried that it may stay there, dying. I can picture the person cleaning the apartment after I leave finding an iguana next to the fridge!

I think that the iguana finally left, after a few days (two?). I partly wanted it to leave, for its own sake. But part of me also wanted it to stay, what an interesting creature.

Wrong again, iguana's still there!

Again (after the above), I thought that the iguana left, but it remains.

I guess I have a pet iguana now. How long do pet iguanas go without food? It doesn't seem to eat the food that I've left out. I'm no longer that scared of it, since it seems so scared of me. I've tried to encourage the iguana to go out, but it scurries back behind the fridge whenever I approach.

We're open systems within open systems?

Rock & roll if you can! :)