Quote ideas

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Revision as of 12:13, 1 April 2015 by Eagle (talk | contribs) (→‎Quotes: add a naughty line)
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This page includes lines, whether descriptive or quotational, that would go well in a story.

Quotes

  • "Blast off, we have blast off!"
  • "Sure thing, sugar!"
  • "Ever take the kind of shit that gives you PTSD?"
  • "Ever take the kind of crap that takes a C-section?"
  • "I love dogs, with a little Hoisin."
  • "OK, cowboy!"
  • "That editor needs a semicolonoscopy."
  • "In the US, saying hi to a girl is sexual harassment, and the age of consent is thirty five."
  • "It sure seems like a lot of sheriffs are Jewish."
  • "...the hot new dance track, 'I Left my Right Leg (Back in Iraq)'..."
  • "My opinion is your opinion."
  • "My onion is your onion."
  • "Things are an illusion. Only the truth is real."
    • Or the same, but with "math" instead of "truth".
  • "...transcendental..." "Oh, you're into spiritual stuff?" "No, I mean, transcending spirituality and all that human stuff."
  • (At a serious occasion) "Bro, how do you spell Sriracha?"
  • "Is that a real, live moustache?"
  • (Angry, serious man) "If you get cancer, that means you didn't try hard enough!"
  • "Yes, sometimes I say to mosquitoes, 'How dare you bite me, one of the greatest men alive?!'"
  • "...a 5% increase in blow job creation this quarter..."

Lines

  • In the future, Americans will live in houses so big that you can drive a car through them, and only get out for sex, so once a month.
  • Rice is like the ultimate test of human maturity.
    • (Because it takes patience and wisdom to prepare it properly...)
    • (And it tastes great!)