Quote ideas

This page includes lines, whether descriptive or quotational, that would go well in a story.

Quotes

"Blast off, we have blast off!"
"Sure thing, sugar!"
"OK, cowboy!"
"My opinion is your opinion."
"My onion is your onion."
"Things are an illusion. Only the truth is real."
- Or the same, but with "math" instead of "truth".
"...transcendental..." "Oh, you're into spiritual stuff?" "No, I mean, transcending spirituality and all that human stuff."
(At a serious occasion) "Bro, how do you spell Sriracha?"
"Is that a real, live moustache?"
(Angry, serious man) "If you get cancer, that means you didn't try hard enough!"
(Coach to cancer patient or double leg amputee) "All right, walk it off."
"Yes, sometimes I say to mosquitoes, 'How dare you bite me, one of the greatest men alive?!'"
"...a 5% increase in blow job creation this quarter..."
"Take another sit in the great bathtub of life."
"It's all a miracle, even the parts that suck!"
"Happy as a man in cunt!"
"For man, pussy is both the beginning and the end."
"Yesterday's failure is today's fuel."
"What's good for you is doing what's important."
"When normal is getting drunk and hating, I sure fucking hope I'm eccentric."
"After gay, then gay and lesbian, LGB, LGBT, LGBTQ, etc, I think we should just skip to ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ!"
"I'm pansexual. I'm attracted to pans."
"All I want for Christmas is an exoskeleton."
"You kneed him in the balls or you need him in the balls or you knead him in the balls?"

In the future, Americans will live in houses so big that you can drive a car through them, and only get out for sex, so once a month.
Rice is like the ultimate test of human maturity.
- (Because it takes patience and wisdom to prepare it properly...)
- (And it tastes great!)
You can't cram for the exam at the school of life.
In life, you can't have it all, but you can enjoy what you have.