Quote ideas

This page includes lines, whether descriptive or quotational, that would go well in a story.

Quotes

"Blast off, we have blast off!"
"Sure thing, sugar!"
"Ever take the kind of shit that gives you PTSD?"
"Ever take the kind of crap that takes a C-section?"
"I love dogs, with a little Hoisin."
"OK, cowboy!"
"That editor needs a semicolonoscopy."
"In the US, saying hi to a girl is sexual harassment, and the age of consent is thirty five."
"It sure seems like a lot of sheriffs are Jewish."
"...the hot new dance track, 'I Left my Right Leg (Back in Iraq)'..."
"My opinion is your opinion."
"My onion is your onion."
"Things are an illusion. Only the truth is real."
- Or the same, but with "math" instead of "truth".
"...transcendental..." "Oh, you're into spiritual stuff?" "No, I mean, transcending spirituality and all that human stuff."
(At a serious occasion) "Bro, how do you spell Sriracha?"
"Is that a real, live moustache?"
(Angry, serious man) "If you get cancer, that means you didn't try hard enough!"
"Yes, sometimes I say to mosquitoes, 'How dare you bite me, one of the greatest men alive?!'"
"...a 5% increase in blow job creation this quarter..."

In the future, Americans will live in houses so big that you can drive a car through them, and only get out for sex, so once a month.
Rice is like the ultimate test of human maturity.
- (Because it takes patience and wisdom to prepare it properly...)
- (And it tastes great!)