Quote ideas

This page includes lines, whether descriptive or quotational, that would go well in a story.

Quotes

• "Blast off, we have blast off!"
• "Sure thing, sugar!"
• "Ever take the kind of shit that gives you PTSD?"
• "Ever take the kind of crap that takes a C-section?"
• "I love dogs, with a little Hoisin."
• "OK, cowboy!"
• "That editor needs a semicolonoscopy."
• "In the US, saying hi to a girl is sexual harassment, and the age of consent is thirty five."
• "It sure seems like a lot of sheriffs are Jewish."
• "...the hot new dance track, 'I Left my Right Leg (Back in Iraq)'..."
• "My opinion is your opinion."
• "My onion is your onion."
• "Things are an illusion. Only the truth is real."
  • Or the same, but with "math" instead of "truth".
• "...transcendental..." "Oh, you're into spiritual stuff?" "No, I mean, transcending spirituality and all that human stuff."
• (At a serious occasion) "Bro, how do you spell Sriracha?"
• "Is that a real, live moustache?"
• (Angry, serious man) "If you get cancer, that means you didn't try hard enough!"
• "Yes, sometimes I say to mosquitoes, 'How dare you bite me, one of the greatest men alive?!'"
• "...a 5% increase in blow job creation this quarter..."
• "Take another sit in the great bathtub of life."
• "It's all a miracle, even the parts that suck!"
• "Happy as a man in cunt!"
• "Yesterday's failure is today's fuel."

Lines

• In the future, Americans will live in houses so big that you can drive a car through them, and only get out for sex, so once a month.
• Rice is like the ultimate test of human maturity.
  • (Because it takes patience and wisdom to prepare it properly...)
  • (And it tastes great!)