Caribbean Craziness, Coronavirus

Submitted by eagle on Sun, 01/17/2021 - 16:42


Our perceptions can dramatically affect our behaviors, for the better or worse, and our perceptions are not necessarily that closely tied to "reality". Makes sense to attend to the accuracy of our perceptions!

I may be more of a top-down idealist? But I think I can also be strongly driven by bottom-up signals. Maybe I'm ambivalent?

I think that my body may store noticeably more fat even over a few days of colder weather? Or maybe it's just water retention that's occurred by chance.

I think that a solid response to feeling somewhat crazy is to work!

Coronavirus still closing the borders. In fact, they're re-adding MORE restrictions in some countries!

Guess I'll stay longer here.

Instead of rushing out, I'm now aiming to do as much as I can here, while maintaining a positive mood as much as I can, plus sanity.

You have to keep reinventing yourself.

While building on your earlier base.

A difficult balancing act.

I've taken some crazy risks, done some crazy things, and it seems to have worked out so far! :)

It turns out that we're often wrong, so it makes sense to put yourself to the test, in my opinion.

Also, take care of basics. :)

We've come a long way, as a species, as genera, as individuals!

It often seems that when I have annoyances, they can be turned into more desirable situations by moving away from the notion of "how long do I have to survive this," instead seeing the situations as recreational or productive opportunities of limited time.

If anyone wants a delicious combination, try mascarpone with dark chocolate.

I think it's important to keep on the move, even when it's tempting to relax.

Exercise is a 3-in-1 drug cocktail: amphetamines, opiates, cannabis! :)

Even knowing that my plans are likely to be wrong, I'm still consistently surprised by how wrong my plans turn out. :)

The upcoming islands that I want to see look small, and not that different from what I've already seen (but each with its own appeals), so I think that after I leave Guadeloupe it will go more quickly again.

I often notice myself saying, thinking, or writing something that seems original to me, then shortly after (or much later) realizing that it closely resembles something that I'd already heard or read.

I guess the mind's something of a copycat. :)

I'm feeling confused. Not that I think we humans ever have some sort of objective certainty, but sometimes we at least have a relatively clear sense of what we want, while at other times (like nowadays for me) there are conflicting demands.

I'm working on the basics that I know I still want, while trying to work out how to handle the upcoming while.

I have clearer long-term goals, too, but I think that it's premature to think much about those with the difficulty around the Coronavirus among other concerns.

My mood's all over the place, but that's usually the case. :)

Some people seem driven by fame, money, or accomplishments, or power, pleasure, or various other things. I guess we all have some mix. I think some of my main motivations are sense-oriented. I also have some motivations for achievement (in its own right, rather than competitively), but I think it's somewhat moderate.

There are usually ways forward, even if it seems like one's stuck. Takes some sacrifices, alternative ways of thinking, hard work, but we retain freedom even when it doesn't necessarily appear so on the surface.

Another week in the Caribbean, which still switches between driving me crazy and making me feel relief! Actually, maybe that's the key distinction about the Caribbean. The heat and humidity, some of the culture, can drive you a bit crazy, but scenery is very serene. That seems consistent with my thinking over the last few years in other parts of the Caribbean.

I've been drinking alcohol more consistently than for years, in a deliberate attempt to reduce anxiety, assist sleep in this noisy place. Somewhat working for the anxiety/mood, doesn't seem to do much for sleep (even for time of onset). I'll drink more for the next while, then try other methods. I don't really like drinking much nowadays, but it has a few benefits, and seems to make food taste way better.

Trying to open an offshore bank account. Still one of my bigger frustrations during travel is dealing with the financial institutions. At least I can feel like an intriguing person (which I am!) while seeking to open offshore bank accounts. :)

When will the Coronavirus be over? There's probably gambling on that, which can tell us. I think I've been wrong already too many times to take my guesses seriously. Maybe another month???

Guess I should do what I can while here!

Rock & roll!!!!! :)


Adapting to Unavoidable Difficulties!

Submitted by eagle on Mon, 01/11/2021 - 16:07

Things are difficult anyways.

So hard to keep up with things.

Work through things anyways.


I feel like it takes some preparation, maybe some proportion of the time one has been in a place, before leaving the place.

I still find it somewhat remarkable that my brain basically won't let my body stay still for long!

You have to go out there!

Keep on working towards your goals!


Exercise! Clean! Work! :)

If you want to arrive, you have to leave.

Probably way better to deal with actual things, in the sense of objects, e.g. exercise or work, instead of just mental objects.

There are occasionally hurdles, stumbling blocks.

I think it's important to push through, not blindly but with patience, cognition, and the like.

I'm feeling somewhat frustrated, stuck here. It's a decent enough place, but I've seen it and my body craves more.

We're all on an exciting adventure together. Scary, but fun. It's only in a microscopic fraction of the human story that we have modern technology, which proceeds to develop. Even before that, our species has traveled the planet for millions of years. Even before that, we've gone on numerous other adventures.

It's sort of confusing for me to stay here.

I go through cycles of liking or disliking staying stuck here. It's definitely practical in that I'm accomplishing more of my desk jockey jobs than while I was cycling.

I still basically agree with my first impressions of Guadeloupe. Beautiful, wet, has delicious tomatoes.


I guess we can adjust to whatever comes up! :)

I'm feeling claustrophobic.

I want to go soon!!!!! :)

Make mistakes! :)

Tried some sleeping pills. They don't seem to do much, for me anyways. Slightly drowsier but still awake. Maybe use more booze instead. :)

Another busy week here in Capesterre!

I guess there's some frustration in different activities, as well as some accomplishments. I still feel like I'm making headway on my desk duties here, while stuck in this location. The opposite of my usual travel pattern, when it's hard to accomplish the desk duties.

Plan: keep on balancing between travel versus desk activities, making the most of each opportunity, minimizing the whining. :)

I still like how there isn't winter here!

I'm thinking, a few more packages, the borders reopen (?), then go! :)


Finding Ways Forward!

Submitted by eagle on Sun, 12/27/2020 - 18:23

Looks like January!

The ferry company says that international travel is supposed to resume then. At least to some of the nearby islands.


You could score your life choices decision tree! :)

Idea: coffee oil. Like the small amounts of oil in espresso. You could make it by combining instant coffee with vegetable oil. What would you use it for? A sauce for foods?

It's been a long year, here!

Looking forward to a new one, hopefully in a new country soon! :)

Extremely grateful to have had an opportunity to work through so many things over the last year, which I've wanted to do for a long while.

It's interesting to see which aspects of me come or go on the basis of when I'm traveling, where I'm traveling, how I'm aging, and such. I think that I've developed into a substantially different person as a result of travel, including to the specific place I've gone like regions of North America or the Caribbean, as well as from aging. I also think that many aspects of who I am have stayed stable since before I traveled, and have not been that affected by where I've traveled. Staying in one place in the Caribbean seems to show that some of my tastes or sensibilities or stress responses stay fairly stable. I guess my activities rather than my tastes adjust to the place.

I'm working again to have less negativity, more positivity.

I think that in addition to liking the Latin cultures more than I like many other cultures, I feel more normal there. That may contribute to my feeling better there, too.

While it's important to have assumptions, they often develop inertia. It's also important to release assumptions if they fail.

Even balance, in balance. I think that excess is extremely harmful. I think that an excess of balance is slightly harmful.

I think that basically balance, but with a few imbalances to adjust to conditions or go after an opportunity, can do even better than a "flat" balance.

Like how animals with bilateral symmetry but a front and back can go farther than spherical animals.

Compared to much of what our bodyminds evolved for, we now have immense opportunities as well as risks. Modern life is potent. There are tons of useful yet risky things that we now face that we're not entirely adapted for, e.g. processed foods and drugs (including widely available alcoholic beverages), media, vehicles. These can enable us to do some remarkable things that our ancestors couldn't, but they also kill.

I'm working on seeing myself as building. Developing. Growing.

How many hours of use will Eagle Eyes get? Probably thousands just by me. Plus others!

Idea: chocolate bar-shaped cell phone.

Idea: chocolate bar that's a flat rectangle instead of having individual squares.

Writing's sort of like making music or 3D animations, but with words. You cobble together a draft, you manipulate the arrangement of elements, using your sensitivity.

Thinking, cooking, having sex, other activities can also be like writing or making art.

Next week it's 2021! :)

Birds often fly on specific paths, rather than just randomly. We can do the same in our life paths.

I want to go soon! :)

I think it's easy to see things as you do it once then you're set, when in reality I think that you have to keep on adapting.

I think that a more practical approach makes sense for me, I have a strong tendency to ideate, which can also be useful but with balance.

Progress happens from day-by-day moves, advance, maneuvers.

Ideas can ramp up (or bog down) progress by several orders of magnitude.

Design life! :)

Build life! :)

I'm sort of expecting to leave Capesterre around mid- to late-January, 2021.

Feeling cooped up! Want to go back out there again!

In work or life, I guess we can focus on the felt needs.

As I write or edit checklists, plans seem more real. As I check them off, they become real!

Idea: transparent chocolate. (Not sure if that's technically feasible.)

I think that work, exercise, socializing, cleaning, shopping, or other productive activities can be fun "adventures" like using drugs (including alcohol), but with better average outcomes.

I think that I get tired by the end of the day, the week, the year. I think that a lot of mistakes happen then. Not just in me, it's probably a common enough trend. I guess that it makes sense to exercise extra caution near the end, or to reduce activities near the end. Maybe that also explains why the last 20% takes 80% of the effort. :)

Maybe drink at least once a month or so?

I think I'm way too anxious.

Keep on working at it! :)



Working through Things in Capesterre Belle-Eau, Guadeloupe!

Submitted by eagle on Sun, 12/20/2020 - 19:24

Travel itself is fairly easy. You buy the ticket or hop on the bike, then go somewhere. It's the decisions, the emotions, the psychological stuff pertaining to travel, that's difficult.

It's sort of hypnotic, entrancing, to watch a small bird.

My "pets" keep coming by. I've been feeding them rice, each grain of which looks like a big snack compared to these small birds.

They move so fast, their bodies are on a much smaller scale. I guess there are also insects, bacteria, and the like "twitching" even faster. Also, elephants, planets, and the like going slower. Different rhythms. What we take for granted is just one rate.

Also, seeing things with depth (in 3D). Many animals don't.

The width of our vision, the color depth. The other senses, some of which aren't even the same basic senses in different animals. Just at the basic sensory/perceptual levels, we're so different than other animals, yet it's somewhat difficult to think or feel as another animal would. Even within the human species there are considerable differences in sight, sound, smell processing.

I'm not sure what birds' dietary needs are. Can they synthesize different amino acids than humans can? I'm guessing that birds can get by fine on cereal grains alone?

I think I like the look, taste, shade, feel, etc., of tropical plants more than dry hot climate plants. But the people more in dry hot climate places. Food in both.

I think there's some merit to the notion of you get what you give.

Go more freely! :)

Eagle Gamma in Capesterre Belle-Eau, Guadeloupe!

You know you're in a small place when... Receiving a package, the delivery companies have never even heard of your country, then when it finally arrives in the country, the delivery drivers can't even find your place (which of course has no address written on it).

The rest of the body is way less interesting to me than the brainmind

I've made so many commitments, now I'm "committed"! :)

I moved to a different room in the same building (because someone else had already reserved the room I was in). This room has a functional air conditioner, which in the Caribbean climate makes a huge difference!

These Coronavirus days have been some of the more useful but less pleasurable for me. Also with some inutility (disutility?) plus pleasures. Taking care of tons of tasks from years ago. Also stuck without travel or other aspects of culture that I like. At least an appropriate occasion!

Normal people are high on drugs practically all the time. Some of the worst drugs, too. Alcohol, tobacco, caffeine (the latter's the most common but not so bad for harm).

I'm aiming to go on a night shift schedule for much of the rest of my stay here. I've occasionally woken up in the middle of the night, including last night and tonight. It's way better for working, with quiet (except for some dog barking). I can nap during the day.

We each have a neural net to control! That's like some of the most advanced technology that engineers are now working with, but ours are even more developed (for a while, anyways). What an incredible technology to have literally inside us!

I guess we crazy writers can now say that we're "self-isolating" for the Coronavirus! :)

Seems like some countries but not all are reopening after Coronavirus. There are genetic tests for the virus required to enter some countries, plus quarantines, self-isolation, and the like.

I think I'm going to wait until more countries are open, with fewer restrictions, so that I feel confident in being able to travel easily.

I'm also considering flying to some open country like Brazil, then staying there instead, but I think in practice that it would maybe not make sense. Or would it?

The US writes that people should leave Venezuela, not sure how that situation will turn out by the time I'm likely ready to go.

    On March 11, 2019, the Department of State announced the temporary suspension of operations of the U.S. Embassy in Caracas and the withdrawal of diplomatic personnel.  All consular services, routine and emergency, are suspended.
    The Travel Advisory for Venezuela remains a Level 4: Do Not Travel, urging U.S. citizens not to travel to Venezuela due to crime, civil unrest, poor health infrastructure, and arbitrary arrest and detention of U.S. citizens.

Dominica (my next planned Caribbean island) looks open, at least somewhat. Maybe go there in mid-January?! Or is Guadeloupe on their list of high-risk places?

They still have quarantines, tests, and such. Maybe I'll wait until it's more fully open. I very much don't want to become stuck in a quarantine for days.

People monitored where they stay? That sounds obnoxious.

Guadeloupe (where I am now) is open, but with requirements. Probably better to stay here until this thing clears up.

Looks impractical to go among countries now, even if some are technically open. Looks like more Guadeloupe!

So, Martinique, my planned destination after the upcoming island of Dominica, has quarantines. How about waiting for Coronavirus to leave.

Coronavirus hysteria!!!!!

So, seems like the international borders aren't open in a practical sense yet, nor with a specific date.

I'm still sort of vaguely hoping for January-February-March reopening, but realistically planning to hold out or make alternative plans even for months after that.

I would now expect a realistic likelihood of this Coronavirus going on well into 2021, maybe even further. Seems somewhat preposterous, but I can easily see it occurring.

I have enough things to do here that, while in some ways I'm extremely desirous to go on, it's also fine to have an extended stay.

Carry on or stay still or do whatever you can!!!!! :)

First drink in a while, feeling stressed. I like the bottle more than I like the drink inside. :)

A sweet Jamaican ginger wine. Basically sugary wine with strong ginger flavor. Acts on the GABA depressant neurotransmitters, like other alcobeverages.

I think that drinking serves a few purposes. Socializing. Stress relief/anxiolytic. But I think it's also an extremely dangerous drug. I'm ok with having a few drinks now and then, it may even be healthy. I think it probably is beneficial in small doses. I don't want to return to regular drinking, though.

I think booze makes me feel even more melodramatic than I already am.

Realistically, I think that alcohol is more nutritious and medicinal than many things that people regularly consume. So I wouldn't agree with the extreme anti-alcohol people. But I also think it's far more dangerous of a drug than most or all illegal drugs, so I also wouldn't agree with the extreme pro-alcohol people. I think that it's a substance with some uses as well as some dangers, both considerable. Therefore I would argue that it should be used only by those who have a reason for it, "in moderation", rather than as a ubiquitous beverage or not at all.

I don't really like how alcohol makes my head feel numb.

But I do like how it takes my mind off things.

It definitely seems to produce a loss of coordination, which I think I already had.

Weird how a simple molecule (ethanol) can produce such profound effects in society.

I think that booze doesn't help, in fact may hurt, the basic problems that people often use it for.

Next day. Do not drink alcohol regularly. Only up to a few times per year. :)

In sum, I wish I had acted more responsibly, (somewhat) less irresponsibly, when I was younger, so I will aim to act more responsibly from now on.

If you drink (semi-)regularly, it may feel normal to derive much pleasure from alcohol. Now that I'm largely off alcohol, I feel more pleasure sober than when drinking, with a few exceptions. There seems to be a better emotion profile with (semi-)regular sobriety.

I think that coffee removes the "drowsy" effect by blocking off adenosine neurotransmitters? Or am I misrecalling?

It's like you're in middle-of-the-day readiness mode even if you just woke up.

I nowadays often like sobriety, but I'm much more likely to use caffeine than alcohol. It's safer, it's more productive, it's more positive.

Getting to know one's nervous system.

Working with it!

Power just went out (then came back on). Water's still going off sporadically. Stove's out of fuel. Air conditioner blew out. Microwave blew out. Have to like that Caribbean! :)

Things have developed for me considerably over the last year, even though (or because!) I've been stuck in one small country. For the first time since I've started this whole travel lifestyle back in 2013, I have some financial stability. Also, my book that I've been working on since (before!) the start is now out. I'm wearing the goggles that I'd designed. Tons of other developments too!

Working is sort of like adventure travel. (I often get my metaphors [or similes] backwards). You gradually develop your methods, your tools, your knowledge. From starting off, you become more of an old hand.

As I work my way through some projects, others arise. I guess that's the way things go!

One of my big regrets is that I still struggle so much with regrets. :) When I actually do stuff, I realize again that it's ok to make mistakes, have failures, etc., but emotionally I still feel the inevitable imperfections.

Keep at it! :)


The New Normal?!

Submitted by eagle on Sun, 12/06/2020 - 19:24

Work hard enough to meet needs, not so hard to burn out or go crazy!

What would I do if they don't reopen the borders after the Coronavirus?

Would I stay in Guadeloupe? Try going to France? Go back to Canada or the US?

I'm not sure.  I'd probably stay in Guadeloupe for a while, sorting out plans, then eventually maybe take a shot at France.

I don't think that would happen. Funny but scary to think about, though!

The first pair of the next round of goggles came in!

Eagle Eyes Adventure Goggles version 1.2.x!

Eagle Eyes Adventure Goggles version 1.2.x!I feel like I'm becoming increasingly capable of accomplishing some goals, even with the setbacks!

You can see your actions as selections among which shape or design to switch things into. Without complete information, you can pick what you think you'd like to see as results then work towards that.

It's normal to be abnormal.

I am a river of cells.

We are rivers of cells.

If (weirdly) they keep the borders closed for Coronavirus indefinitely, maybe I can get from Guadeloupe to mainland France, then throughout the European Union?!

Caffeine: Not sure how much I like it except under specific conditions. Too nervousness-inducing for normal use?

I often don't want to be here (Capesterre Belle-Eau, Guadeloupe) any more. It's convenient, and nice enough in some ways. I basically have to stay here in practice for a while longer, to wrap up some things I'm working on (e.g. receiving parcels), as well as to have the Coronavirus over so that I can go to other countries that I want to see. Still, I've seen the town, and I'm hungry for a different culture.

I'm thinking of later on spending a while out in the country. I've lived for extended periods in large cities, small cities, and towns, but I've only ever passed through or stayed briefly in the countryside. I'd like to find out how I take to the remote, quiet setting.

I think I would like it immensely, but as with anything find some shortcomings. I'd probably get bored after a while, but really appreciate it for the first few weeks or maybe even months.

Breakfast: rice & nutella!

Over the last years, I've often struggled even to cover the basic needs. It's been somewhat frustrating, but also to some extent a deliberate sacrifice I've made to pursue travels, which I've considered worthwhile. Now that I'm stuck in Guadeloupe, I've finally had a chance to achieve basic needs. I'm still adjusting mentally to having these.

There are generally distractions (desirable or undesirable), problems, or other interferences. The issue isn't that, it's how much you want it.

Don't feel too bad about personal regrets. It's normal for anyone, even more normal for people in comparable situations. Just focus on rides!

I think that my pattern with caffeine when I use it is to go overboard because it seems too weak at first. I think it's the same as my pattern with alcohol. I guess I'll enforce stricter limits on my caffeine intake, but I'm still willing to drink some, even more so than with alcohol.

I think that the ideal eyewear, like the ideal bicycle, feels like it isn't there.

If you spend a year in a small island country, you can get to know it quite well!

I think it's going to feel super weird when the Coronavirus lifts. IF the Coronavirus lifts!

I'm planning to bust out, soon after but not right away. Maybe leave a week or so after the borders reopen.

Eagle Eyes Adventure Goggles version 1.2.x!

Already December!

I'm guessing early in 2021 the Coronavirus will be "over". Will it run a full year?


There are generally scary or annoying or unpleasant things. I guess it's often better just to do what seems reasonable about them then focus on better things.

I think that my generalizations are often not that useful. :)

I find it somewhat disturbing how strongly my emotions seem tied with the weather.

Where would you like to go?

I'm looking forward to Latin America again!!!!!

A heart-shaped cloud.

A bit of a quiet weekend after a while of noise, stress.

Let's go!!!!! :)

Eagle Eyes Adventure Goggles version 1.2.x!

Turmoil in Capesterre Belle-Eau, Guadeloupe!

Submitted by eagle on Mon, 11/16/2020 - 19:12

Some blog notes from over the last month, which has had some turmoil for me:

You find your way, your desires, by going out there and doing. It's nonsense to think that you can think up your way in your head only. Still, you can think up a few cool ideas, and some nifty ways of going places.


You have to do, to do.

Things don't happen as expected. Maybe one can picture a straightforward sequence, but in practice things twist about wildly on the road to success.

As much as I like the Caribbean (which is approximately as much as I thought, more in some ways but less in others), I'm looking forward to seeing other regions. Which I've already noted.

I think & feel waaaay better without much noise. I can only wear earplugs or go out in the countryside so much. Wish there were a better way!

It still feels funny to me to be on a small island. Like you have your own little planet to yourself! :)


Idea: Far Enough

I'd like to go out in the countryside somewhere, in a shack, spend a few months just working. Far enough away from the traffic. I think I'd be way more productive.

Idea: A community of reclusive writers and other artists. They all stay apart, sharing each other's misery. :)

Serious fuckin' noise ordinances in place.

It would have beautiful houses and yarns (and yards), but be seriously dysfunctional.

Artists' cloister? Is that the right word?

After a while with the water going off every other day or so, it's somewhat annoying. It doesn't actually interfere much, if you stock up a bunch of water, but it reminds one of the convenience of running water.

I'm turning Caribbean! I just ate yet ANOTHER bowl of rice & beans.


Fullproof (adj.): Definitely won't fail.

The left brain says "go," the right brain says "stop."

It's OK to listen to the "go" side more often! :)

The noisiness, failures, "problems", are just how things are. Instead of complaining, getting angry, or in other ways focusing on that, focus on better ways to act.

Don't get angry, don't get even, get creative!

I've often felt congested over the years. I was thinking in terms of being near people, dogs, motors, other loud sounds, but I suppose the same word also applies to inner congestion -- nose, maybe thoughts, emotions too.

Seems to apply in large cities as well as small towns. More in some places than in others. It often makes me feel a need for exercise, going out into the country, or the like.

I think a large part of it's just the normal pressures that are there, in the environment. They come through various media -- people, dogs, motors, or whatever. But I think it's wrong or "inutile" to blame the specific direct source. Blaming the messenger. The underlying pressures are there anyways.

I like who I am, how I choose to act.

It's been extremely difficult so far, with many losses, sacrifices, and mistakes along the way. Also, of course I'm imperfect as ever. But at least I like my overall directions! :)

Idea: back hair shampoo. :)

I see an ongoing path, involving continual work while taking some pleasures as well as pains along the way.

Now I think I am getting close to having seen every street in this town.

Jejej, I think I'm addicted to decaf! :)


I've seen a few houses around here with microwaves as mailboxes!


While this place like any has its drawbacks, I like how it feels "normal." It's attractive, but a real or regular community where people reside, rather than having a large rate of tourism. I also like the latter, but wind up seeing many such places, so it's nice to have a break in a normal town.

Seems like there are always problems. I guess just keep on adapting! :)

Each place has its busy times, adapted to the weather and other factors of course. Here in Capesterre Belle-Eau, Guadeloupe, seems like 11 to 12 or 1 midday is a busy time, 4 to 5 or 6 evening is a busy time, 8 to 9 or 10 evening is busy.

Grow strong, solid, sturdy, like a tree! :)

Take in food, sunlight, water, like a tree! :)

Produce, like a tree! :)



I've often been an evening or afternoon person, but I'm becoming a morning person. In part for practical reasons, by choice. My sinuses seem to do better early in the day. There's more sunlight during the day. More stuff's open. I feel more productive when I get an early start. There are some nice quiet periods early in the morning. It feels nice to time one's activities with the sun rising and setting.

I feel extremely lucky about this town (Capesterre Belle-Eau, Guadeloupe), as with Guadeloupe as a country.


I like decaf! I can drink like ten cafes, but instead of going paranoid-hyperactive-insomniac-crazy, I feel normal, even tired by the end of the day! :)

"Life's too fair!" :)

Not sure if I actually believe that.

Adulthood: you start off kind of sketchy, then learn as you grow.

Idea: Cyborg cat! :)

I'm super thankful to have a job, even more so that it's flexible.

Also: earplugs.

Sometimes I make allowances for special occasions. Seems like it's often a special occasion.

Ofishally, sardines are nutritious.

You know you're in a work mode when you're eating white rice and drinking black coffee. Basically some grains with water. :)

Not the most original thought: I think that we can often have a tendency to think of "boring, ordinary" things, while hoping for some later better result. Instead, maybe it makes sense to think of the ordinary things as what we're here for, and to focus on making those the best that we can.

As a writer, I often think to myself along the lines of, "I wish that people would be quieter so that I can concentrate." I think that this is comparable to a soldier saying, "I wish that enemy soldiers wouldn't shoot at me." I don't think that writing is exactly like war, but I think that in both cases one attempts to reach one's objectives on a competitive battlefield. Again, maybe not the most original thought, but something on my mind.

I think that one of my often-made mistakes is to take things too personally. Things (problems) that aren't directed at me, can still frustrate me. I guess it makes more sense to feel the annoyance briefly, but forget about it.

Being able to manage problems can be more important than having technical skills.

Still a struggle, no matter what I try, for me to manage the disgusting distractions that interfere with work or pleasure. Still, I take it as a challenge for me to find ways to deal.

Maybe I need to develop more mental resistance to noises, distractions.

I understand intellectually that these problems pale in comparison to other issues. But emotionally they seem difficult to manage.

Also, I guess that no matter what one does there will be some degree of annoyance. Like how shoes don't fit exactly. So maybe the best one can do is to adjust one's mentality and behaviors to minimize the problems, then just go ahead and deal with the remaining issues.

Our brains seem to produce notions in us that we are at the same time super-invulnerable but also need protection. :)


Having survived a lot of crazy stuff, I feel like the "regular" crazy stuff is somewhat more manageable.



Each day is like a machine, a system. It connects with the last and the next. It has its subcomponents.


The machines (days) fit together like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle. One extends into another. They're not regular shapes like squares or rectangles. I think it's therefore silly to expect days to have even starts or finishes. There's always something!

Years or seconds or lives are also like days.


I think that annoyances/frustrations may spur me more to work than desires do? The latter may make me more comfortable, complacent?

That would be consistent with some other facts. People seem to make purchases, or avoid crimes, more strongly when there's a pain or pressure.

I'm not sure about this whole adulthood thing, seems like there's lots of adjusting to things you can't do much about.

(In thick Italian-American accent) "Why's everyone talkin' about my type? Genotypin'? I'm Geno, so what about my type?!"

Idea: Like a vending machine, but instead of drinks or snacks, hot food. It can include electric heating elements, or a microwave.

Probably exists somewhere, but I don't think I've seen it.

I think maybe caffeine and alcohol are bad matches for my body? They're addictive which I don't handle well. They produce anxiety and depression which I'm already prone to. Maybe they have their uses, and are more suitable for other people, but I think they don't mesh with me that well.

Imagine if there were a drug that made you feel good (an upper), with no side effects, and it were free and available anywhere. I think that exercise is the closest thing to that.

I find breadfruit trees funny. They're huge, as are their fruits. The fruits taste like starches, not fruits. The trees produce so much, they don't seem to mind if animals devour their fruits.

Sugar seems way more potent now than I'd thought (or than society gives credit for). I just ate a huge amount of generic nutella (super delicious)! Now I feel high. Giving kids sugar seems like giving kids cocaine (which also acts on dopamine).

You change through the progress of your efforts. Each day/week/year brings a different you.

Some things I've been working on for years seem to be nearing "completion." Feels stupendous, if also somewhat frustrating.

Bringing together our different individual elements, to produce strong wholes! :)

I wonder what country I'll be in a year from now? :)

I'm guessing… Uruguay?! :)

In the shopping mall of countries, where do you go?

From the outside, before or after, things can look simpler than they are. From the inside of a process, things can look more complex than they are. Having both views (in & out) can provide balance.

Conscientiousness is a super-tool. And to some extent you can choose to develop it! :)

We should say thank you to your problems.

(Often our problems produce our best results.)

Maybe only another couple of months here in Capesterre?

It's important to clean things so that you can get them dirty. :)

I find it somewhat disturbing that there are people, perhaps the majority, in these small towns, who have probably seen far less of the town even after living here for decades than I have in a few months. I understand it, though, it's not like I went out of my way to see so much of places before I started traveling longer-term.

Anything affects the brain: food, drink, drugs, experiences, water.

Some things take a while, but do eventually happen! :)

If a bicycle could think about itself, I don't think it'd get bored of doing so. :)

"I can't believe I'm fuckin' goin' around the world!!!!! :)"

My thoughts to myself while going through some notes.

Many of my ideas seem to turn out way incorrect. I guess it makes sense to go out there to test ideas. :)

We don't get to control everything in our environments. But at least we get to control our behaviors by-and-large.

Color in the map!

Looking at a map of the continents now looks like a manageable, ongoing challenge!!!!! :)

Now appreciating caffeine more, but not using it as much. Is it a miracle drug?

You have to fuckin' deal with situations. It's naive but normal to feel disturbance, but in practice it's more effective to manage the response, take some losses or some leaves, then carry forth, instead of going crazy.

Fiction often seems unrealistically positive. The protagonist overcomes the adversaries. Non-fiction often seems unrealistically negative. If it bleads, it leads. Games seem more realistic. It's highly uncertain, you can win or lose, it depends on your skill level.

While each person may have to take individual responsibility in order to achieve goals, I still think that we can offer more assistance than just saying "it's your responsibility." I think we can teach those we care about some specifics about HOW to take responsibility, like delineating some common areas of responsibility (finance, health, relationships), as well as recommending some techniques (regular work regardless of conditions, taking risks).

I want to act creatively!!!!! :)

I can't count how many times I've been fired, lost, kicked out of establishments or town, thought I was going to die, or the like. Somehow after a while they seem to blur away. :)

I'm now feeling stuck (again). At first a huge relief to find a stable place here, have a chance to catch up on so much stuff. Now, with the Coronavirus still running, I also have a few packages in the mail that I'm waiting on. I want to go on, but have to stay. Frustrating!

A bunch of stuff has evolved dramatically for me over the last month. After some serious struggles, I feel stronger but also vulnerable. Hungry to go again. Much better generally!

Rock & Roll!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)


More Capesterrian Thoughts!

Submitted by eagle on Sat, 10/17/2020 - 19:16


I think that we humans often think naively that there will be some idealistic future time, unlike our present problems. It doesn't match the statistical evidence, and even if it did there would be way too much variability. However, it still seems possible to work to produce somewhat consistently better outcomes, appreciating the positives while using the negatives.


I now consider caffeine and alcohol as serious psychoactive substances. I'm OK with using them now and then, but for specific purposes (like becoming more alert or relaxed). I think it's risky to consider these substances as regular drinks, even though many societies do. Anyways, there are plenty of tasty decaffeinated coffees, non-alcoholic beers, and other drinks. Alcohol in particular kills many people. Caffeine seems much safer, but still can mess you up.


I'm liking having so many days in a row in one place, indoors! So convenient!!!!!


The rainy weather makes me feel sensitive, emotional. Can be pleasant on a weekend. Not super conducive for a Monday morning.


One can accumulate work or other tasks, as a backlog. Some tasks get delayed. Having a few projects ongoing allows you to do other productive activities while waiting, instead of losing precious time.


In travel, writing, & life, it seems better not to rush. I've often acted impatiently. I think that one can do better by taking things slowly in many (but not all) cases.


So far I don't think decaf interferes w/ my sleep.


We should be more tolerant of our failures (diseases, lack of intelligence, emotional insensitivity, and the like). Our genes have only had so much time to become functional, and they work in a difficult environment. Our cultures, too.


Psychology: People have a bunch of decent mental states, which they can use for fun or profit, then they decline.


"Finish the ride!" (even though it's all the way around the planet). :)


I'm working on my conscientiousness, as well as to reduce my neuroticism. Difficult tasks!


Conscientiousness seems to have numerous benefits, neuroticism numerous costs, in many areas such as health, work, relationships.


So far, establishing more or stricter requirements for myself, as well as sterner self-talk, seems maybe to contribute to conscientiousness. Still haven't found much for reducing neuroticism, maybe just reminders to focus on the facts.


I feel like I've reached a threshold here in Capesterre Belle-Eau, Guadeloupe. I've now seen many (but not all) of the roads -- it's a considerbaly bigger town that I thought. I've eaten at many (but not all) of the eateris, shopped at many of the stores. I'm also starting to feel somewhat more like a resident, less like a visitor. Also, starting to think of moving on. Still planning to ride out (or not ride out, but still sit out, as it were) the rest of Coronavirus here.


Like the rest of Guad, I feel like it's beautiful here, often restful, a chance to catch up on many things that I'd put off or been unable to attend to while traveling.


Childitis (n.): Adulthood.


I feel like I have fifteen different things that I'm working on or waiting on. I know that things often become messy. I feel like I'm still struggling with many of the things that I often write about. I guess that's how it goes. You often deal with recurring problems.


Maybe I should act with more focus?


I'm confident that some of these things will work out as I want, but it sure takes patience! :)


There are a lot of false hopes, but there are also some true hopes. I think it's worth dealing with the disappointments along the way, to arrive at rewards, while also striving to have a decent time along the way.


There's always more work you can do, but there's not always enough work you can do? :)


Patientez! :)


I've tried adding various fats to foods again recently, now they seem too oily. I guess my tastes have changed.


Somewhat slow while here in my adopted town, Capesterre Belle-Eau, Guadeloupe.


You can get a lot of mileage out of a few cubic centimeters of rubbery nerve tissue!


Also, it can get a lot of mileage out of you!


I'm feeling more Caribbean, I've been eating rice & beans, other such food. Before I went through a French food burst. You can combine the two here!


Some small birds come by, to eat my food. They've picked away at bananas, bread, rice. They're kind of cute, and clean up a bit of mess.


The first wearable pair of Eagle Eyes Goggles broke. I had somewhat fractured a part that had too thin of a design. Gradually it wore away, then finally snapped off. Now I'm wearing the second pair, which has a slightly different design, and is even more comfortable!


Keep at it anyways!!!!! :)


Thoughts from Capesterre Belle-Eau, Guadeloupe!

Submitted by eagle on Thu, 10/08/2020 - 13:34

A few older notes, before some more recent thoughts.



I don't have any oil or butter or other fatty ingredients around. So I've cooked up a bunch of stuff lately without any. It tastes surprisingly good. I thought it would be bland. Maybe I'm compensating with more salt?

Update: Now have plenty of fatty ingredients. I still like them, but actually feel that they can be too oily now. Not sure if my tastes have changed (over the short or long term), or if I'm just noticing it now after the withdrawal.


Jejej, here in the Caribbean, the bank closes at 4:20. :)


Funny place. The AC here makes the room hotter, and the water doesn't work when it rains. :)

In a town with "Water" in its name, right near all the sources where they bottle water, in the rainy season, the water goes off regularly. I heard that they're redoing the piping throughout the entire country, so I guess it makes sense.


Funny how neurotic, psychotic are insults in the world of psychology/neuroscience. :)


Could you extract DNA from e.g. the wood in a sofa? Or would it all have desiccated/been removed?


A day is like a life or the entire universe. It starts off quiet, goes through some noises of increasing complexity, then quiets down again.


I'm working to have a more positive attitude. Part of an ongoing project. :)

Update: I'm now working to have a more negative attitude in some ways. :)


To get desirable results, you often have to go through undesirable processes.


The tomatoes and bananas have become two of my favorite Guadeloupe products!

Also solid: lettuce, root vegetables, hot peppers, coffee, other agroproducts.


Idea: photoshop marketing packages for various illicit substances. :)


Another idea: photoshop logos like those red/white/blue silhouette sports logos, but with sex acts instead of sports. :)


I've felt way better in my body lately. Even in rainy weather that before made me feel stiff, sore, congested, I'm feeling at least not much pain. Perhaps from having taken some aspirin a while ago, if the positive effects (less inflammation) last?


Staying on in Capesterre Belle-Eau, Guadeloupe. It's a nice town. Decent place to get stuck during the Coronavirus pandemic.



I've tried some fruits, spices, and other foods that I'd never even heard of before. Some more delicious than others. A benefit I like about travel!


Beautiful country. I still think that Guadeloupe seems wetter than other Caribbean countries I've visited. I think it technically has a different climate (monsoon?). Hills, mountains, plants, surrounded by the sea. Also, the architecture is quite attractive, as in other Caribbean countries.


I've gone on a few runs lately, which I hadn't done for a while. Feels different not to have so much stuff like a backpack and bike, as I'd become accustomed to carrying around everywhere.


Rock on!!!!! :)